Today, September 23rd, is the 150th day since I recently and actively stopped from gambling of any kind. Although some might say that this is not noteworthy, I totally disagree for a multiple of reasons.
First of all, I am (by most standards) “behind the times” when it comes to money matters. That being said, I now understand how much of a burden the habit of gambling had on my life. If you also take into consideration that, in matters of materialism, I am so far behind people that I still live with my family and that every penny is under scrutiny; but, as I have learned in the past five months, money actually isn’t all that matters (although, obviously, having a little more couldn’t hurt).
Secondly, and more important, is the fact that, with technology the way it is, it would be so easy to search for a gambling-type game that could whittle away hours of my already-thin free time; regardless of the fact that mostly it wasn’t for real money, it would further “feed the demon”, if I hadn’t stopped when I did.
Finally, and most importantly, is what is driving me forward with my recovery; my own personal “fountain” of patience and perseverance! Right now, I have a project being worked on (which I will need every penny to see flourish), which will hopefully (once finished) alleviate some financial hardships. Also, my children and my family are a paramount concern; I did just lose a piece of the “foundation” (aka my brother), but if he taught me anything, it’s to always stick with what you know…which keeps propelling me forward!
The title, in case you’re still here, refers to the method I’m using for my abstinence…a big calendar…and, every day that I don’t gamble, I put another big X through that date. This has been ongoing since the end of April…and, if I can help it, will continue into the foreseeable future [knocks wood]…
Thank you for listening…I am not looking for applause; I am proud of myself for this latest go-round and that’s what matters to me…
/,,,/ ROCK ON DUDEZ \,,,\